Honouring your woman

How appreciation can turn our relationships around

Today i do have to talk about the appreciation and respect for women in this world. I know we are all human beings. And i wish i would not have to write about it again and again. That we need respect for all living beings. And for the planet. And the miracle called life. But today, i really, especially, one hundred percent have to talk about the respect and appreciation for women.

I had a long talk with a friend this morning. Her partner seems to show only little respect and appreciation for her and for all she is doing. She does not only raise the child they have more or less alone, her work and time is permanently valued as less important, as not getting in enough money, as not lived effectively.

How he judges? By what she earns for her work. It makes you wonder in which century we are actually living.

As you can imagine, she is exhausted. And i mean the true-to-the-bone complete exhaustion. It arises when we work and do and try and shift every day but nothing of it is valued as wonderful, great, worthy.

This man can live like that. Thinking capitalistic to the last corner of his relationship. He leaves out all other levels of a shared life. And this leaves her pretty much worn out.

What is really sad when you look at the situation from an outsiders perspective, is the lack of appreciation and respect that has found its way into this relationship.

I do know my friend. She is a bottle of champagne. She is a spark, a laugh, a sunshine. She is energetic, loving, caring, powerful, joyful, creative. If you let her be. She is sensitive, honest, graceful and beautiful. If you let her be. She is smart and hard working. She is is a light. If you let her be. As for now, he constantly diminishes her light by every chance he can get. As for him, her work is not good. As for him, she is unable to raise the child. As for him, she destroys the furniture. By the way: He is almost never there to make it better. He is working, and when he comes home, he is unnerved. What is left here? Not much right now.

And of course – although she tries to keep up, and still cooks nice dinner and hugs him and worries about him if he works long hours, she is at a point where the most she can say about him are complaints. Angry, dismissive, disappointed complaints.

Why is it always this hard?

Lean back, breathe for a second. Imagine one of them would come home and just say how amazing the other one is. Would take a second to truely take in the amazingness of the other. Because we are. Amazing beings. We are. Imagine you take a second to just appreciate the other one BEING. I know we try to get it from the other one first. But sometimes they just won’t make it. Sometimes, no matter how badly treated we are, we need to step back a little to take in the magic of the other. Because what comes along? We can see the magic of ourselves again.

The other one is a present: Here, and present. A present. We have not been forced to hang out together – we chose to! Why? Why is the other one the one we chose?

Imagine coming home from a long day and just being happy, that actually there is somebody else who has chosen to share this life with you. She just rocked this day! Including a grumpy toothing child, kindergarden-chaos, demanding work, awesome teaching, shopping groceries, playing, doing the laundry, paying bills, answering emails, rocking the tired sweetheart, cooking. I mean, if you just take a second to breathe, to absorb her beauty, to worship her dedication, to honour her laughter, to appreciate her heart. It could happen that you might want to hug and kiss her instead of discussing the messy kitchen. It might happen you feel how blessed you are. That this wonderwoman must really love you.

Honour your woman! She is magic!

Of course – this goes both ways. Imagine you look at the man on your side and take in his beauty. His sturdiness. His reliability. His effort. His smile. His heart. Honour your man. This is some goal sometimes. And it is goddamn important. Because it leads us to something wonderful: Out of the female complaining trap. Out of feeling as the victim in so many situations. This is sometimes a collective consciousness – women have been oppressed for centuries and still are in so many parts of the world. But we enter a new era. We can regain our power. Very often, we are not the victims in these relationships. We choose to make ourselves dependent. I am talking self-knowledge here. I know where i have been, and i do not even have kids yet. But still. Let us get back to appreciation. For the other. And for ourselves.

It is not only pretty beautiful. It is so much more fun.

Do you want to be right – or do you want to be happy?

Do not get stuck in your rightousness. Your partner will have the same feeling of being absolutely right. Go for what feels better. In this you are responsible for yourself. Take care of your joy. Take care of your light. Let not someone, anyone, diminish your light. However close he or she might be.

With appreciation for yourself you can turn on your own light switch. By appreciation for others you can add to their light. Have you ever experienced this happening? To add to someone’s light? It can be so joyful you might want to do it everyday from now on. Try it. Add to your light. Add to the light of your partner. Your collegue. Go appreciate.

Go appreciate life!

And please, please: Go appreciate yourself as the beautiful and amazing woman that you are. Honour yourself, honour your friend, honour your woman next door. Honour your female commitment. Your love. Your joy. Your excitement. Your work. Your creativity. Your loneliness. Your balance. Your strength. Your wisdom. Your sensitivity. Your body. Your heart. Your mind. Your soul. You are doing your best. And most of the times that is pretty damn good. If it does not feel that way sometimes – so be it. Love it anyway.

Go appreciate.

Love. Always. *

 

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